


Running Up That Hill

by pandorabox82



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 16:04:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16021310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: Henrik should have listened to his instincts when it came to Roxanna and John. But after realising that she is in grave danger, will he be able to save her in time from a madman's machinations?





	Running Up That Hill

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this after seeing the trailer for last week's Holby City and listening to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xGbi6lYFO8

Henrik frowned as he watched Roxanna disappear from view. They had left the threads between themselves dangling roughly, and he hadn't been able to find a way to apologise to her for being unwilling to comfort her when she was close to tears and clearly frightened beyond belief. John's words had rung roughly in his head though, as he had listened to Roxanna unload her concerns, her tears seeming, in that moment, a contrivance to get him to react emotionally. Which was exactly what Margaret had said he should not do.

And so he had let things lie between them, hoping that some time would be al that was necessary to start to heal the jagged silence between them. He ached for the possibility of what might have been, and missed his friend more than he cared to admit, to anyone. He had again avoided his group bereavement session because he didn't want to have to face Margaret and the questions she would inevitably ask, and he wondered how long he could keep the charade of normalcy up.

A quick movement from out the corner of his eye caught his attention, and Henrik turned his focus to see that John was fairly running in the same direction that Roxanna had disappeared to, and a chill ran down his spine as he stepped away from the window and made his way to the doors, feeling like he needed to get down there, to interrupt whatever was happening, since his instincts told him that it was nothing good. Deciding not to chance hurrying through the ward, as he could be stopped by any number of people asking him questions, and a part of him knew that he didn't have time for that.

That reaction alone was enough to tell him that he should have listened to Roxanna in the first place. He knew her well enough, understood her well enough, to know that her being so tightly strung was not a symptom of grief denied, but rather a sign of her near obsessive attention to detail when she sensed that something was truly wrong. That was what had led to David's diagnosis, to begin with, and he winced a little as he realized just how cruel he had unwittingly been towards her. Shaking his head, he picked up the pace a little, knowing that he had to get to her side.

Henrik finally reached the ground floor and pushed open the door, stepping out into the cool September afternoon. Looking around, he listened carefully for Roxanna or John's voices. Not hearing them, he strode around the corner and found that John was staring angrily after Roxanna's hurriedly retreating form. "Is everything okay?"

The sound of his voice seemed to startle John out of his anger, and he whirled around to face Henrik, his cheeks red with emotion. "Everything is fine with me, it's Rox that we need to worry about. She just tried to attack me!"

That didn't seem entirely plausible, from the almost terrified look that the woman threw over her shoulder as she turned into the car park. Roxanna's free hand covered her mouth when she saw him standing there, and Henrik felt his shoulders slump a little at that, wondering if he had made her cry. "Why would she do that?" he asked evenly, wishing that he could have followed after Roxanna instead.

"Because she's losing her grip on reality, Henrik. I know that you care for her, deeply, but you have to see that she's now becoming a danger to others, not just herself. If I were you, since you were the former CEO of this hospital, I would go to Ms Tate and explain that you think Rox needs some time off, so that she doesn't endanger any of her patients."

Henrik didn't like the tone that John was taking, and he narrowed his eyes a little as he regarded his friend. "I will take your advice under consideration, but I will have to talk to Roxanna first, to get her side of the story. As we all know the are three sides to every story, and I need to figure out where the truth of things lies."

John's expression tightened for a moment, and Henrik tried not to blanch at the darkness in his eyes. "Just be careful about what you hear, Henrik. There are way people can use words to make it look like their meaning is the one you should listen to."

Henrik cleared his throat a little, in an effort to cover up his scoff of disbelief. "I will keep that in mind, thank you. Now, if you're okay, I'm going to head up to my office and see to the end of day tasks." John nodded before waving him away. Henrik gave a sharp nod of his head before turning on his heel and making his way back inside. His steps were heavy as he climbed up to the office he shared with Roxanna, sitting down in his chair and staring at her desk as he steepled his fingers and took a few deep breaths.

Once he felt calm enough, he picked up his phone and pressed the number for Roxanna, listening to it ring and ring. He hadn't expected her to pick up right away, but he was expecting her to answer him, so when he was directed to voicemail, it took a moment for him to respond to the beep. "Roxanna, this is Henrik. I saw that you had been arguing with John, and I'm worried about you. Please, give me a call as soon as you listen to this message. We really need to talk. Take care, Roxanna."

He didn't say goodbye before disconnecting from the call, and he let out a discontented sigh before steepling his fingers and staring at his desk, willing his friend to call him back before he left for the day. After waiting twenty minutes, Henrik knew that he had to get to work, and he slipped his phone back into his pocket before going over the patient reports that needed to be completed before he went home for the day.

When he realized that despite all his efforts to buckle down and focus, he was constantly distracted by the anticipation of feeling his phone buzz in his pocket, Henrik finished up the file he had been halfheartedly working on and set it in his outbox before pushing away from the desk and tidying it before shrugging into his coat and making his way down to the car park. He wasn't stopped until he reached the lifts, and he was surprised to find Serena giving him a concerned look as she came to a stop next to him. "Have you heard from Roxanna recently? We were supposed to have drinks with Fleur tonight, but I got a text thirty minutes ago that said she had a headache and would be staying in. I thought she was working today?"

"She was, but she left some time ago. I haven't heard anything for a few hours, so you know just as much about the situation as I do."

She cocked her head to one side, as if she was weighing his words based on what she knew about the current situation. Thankfully, she didn't seem to be concerned about his response, as she nodded a few moments later. "Well, if you do talk to her this evening, please let her know that she was missed and the first round is on her next time."

"I will certainly do that, Serena. Have a lovely evening."

"You as well, Henrik," she replied softly as she rested her hand on his upper arm. "Take care of her."

He arched an eyebrow at her, watching as an enigmatic smile spread across her lips before she stepped into the lift and pressed the button for the ground floor. It took him a moment to join her, and a stiff, though gentle, silence filled the space as they rode down together. It wasn't until he was behind the wheel of his car that he realized he had just revealed the depths of his feelings for Roxanna by saying nothing to the other woman.

Shaking his head a little, he pulled out of his space and began the long drive home. The soothing sounds of classical music did little to calm his nerves that evening, though, and finally, he turned the music off, allowing him to be alone with his thoughts as he continued to drive. As he pulled into his drive, he let out a long breath before turning the vehicle off and remaining seated, staring ahead of him without seeing anything. Hesitantly, he pulled out his phone and looked at the display, hoping that Roxanna had texted him, at least.

There was nothing on the screen from her, and he pursed his lips as he swiped the screen open and brought up their text messages. _Serena asked after you before we left. She hopes that you feel better soon, and that you should know the first round is on you next time. I just want you to have a good evening. Let me know that you're okay, please, dear. H_

Henrik pressed send before he could erase the term of endearment he had just used. This was not the time to mince words, she had to know that he cared, and that he was, finally, completely on her side. Getting out of the car, he trudged inside and made a light supper for himself before heading into the living room and trying to relax with a glass of gin. The taste of it that evening was bitter to his lips, and he knew that was because he was allowing his feelings to color everything. Finishing up downstairs, he tidied everything before going up to his room and completing his nightly ablutions before crawling into bed with his tablet, wanting to read a chapter of his book before calling it an evening.

He found himself strangely disappointed to not see a response from Roxanna on that screen, and Henrik shook his head a little at the presumption that she would get back to him that evening. Settling against the headboard, he managed to get a few chapters read before finding exhaustion winning over his desire to read more. Checking one last time for news from Roxanna, he let out a small sigh of frustration when he noticed that she had read his message, but had decided not to return it. Almost angrily, he set the tablet on his nightstand before turning the lights off and falling into a fitful sleep.

The next morning, he woke up feeling tight and achy, a headache pounding behind his eyes. That did not bode well for the start of his day, and he padded into the bathroom, hoping that the heat of the shower would ease some of the tension from his body. His regular routine took only a minute or two longer that morning, as he tried to block out the pain from the headache, knowing that he wouldn't be any good to anyone if he was irritable and snappish.

The last thing he did before he left the house was check his phone for messages. There was one from Serena, telling him that she would be a little late, and asking if he could pick up her usual coffee from Pulses so that she wouldn't have to wait for it. Henrik replied affirmatively before pressing on Roxanna's name and calling up their messages. _I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings, Roxanna, and I hope that you're feeling better this morning. If you have a moment, please come talk to me in the office before you start your rounds. H_

Pressing send, he shoved the phone into his pocket before heading out for the day, coat slung over his arm. By the time he had arrived at the hospital, Henrik had managed to pull a blanket of numbness around him like a shield as he entered the building, getting in the short line for coffee in front of Pulses. The barista gave him a funny look, and he held up two fingers, indicating that there was a change to his normal order. She nodded before helping the next person, moving efficiently until she had reached him.

"I will take my usual, but I also need to pick up Ms Campbell's usual as well. I hope you know what it is, because she is running late, and only said to ask for her regular."

"Oh, sure, I know how she likes her coffee, strong and hot," the woman replied as she filled their orders. He paid and then picked the cups up, heading to AAU and dropping the cup off in Serena's office before making his way up to Keller. He had half-expected to see some sign of Roxanna in their office when he got there, but there was nary a hint of her there. Frowning a little, he sipped at his drink and tried to buckle down for the day ahead. Covering for Sacha was rewarding, but difficult at the same time, and he prepared himself for another long day on the ward.

He was just consulting with Dominic when Abigail interrupted them. "Henrik, I'm going to need to speak to you for a few moments. If you'll excuse us?"

He said nothing about the fact that she didn't know Dominic's name, and he tilted his head in commiseration with the younger man as he followed the CEO to his shared office space. The first thing he noticed was that Roxanna's coat was still absent from it's hook, and he frowned deeply as Abigail closed the door, turning to look at him with a serious look on her face.

"What's going on?" he asked, trying not to sound worried.

"Have you heard from Roxanna this morning?" He shook his head. "Damn, I was hoping that you had. She never showed up for her eight-a.m. procedure, and Guy Self had to be called in to consult instead, since John was running late this morning."

A sick feeling of dread began to curl around his heart and stomach as he regarded her. "And has anyone called her to see what's going on?" he asked as he fumbled his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it before he tapped at his messages, looking at the last one he had sent Roxanna. It was still marked unread, and the knot in his stomach twisted painfully as he raised his eyes to look at Abigail, knowing what her answer would be before she said it.

"She hasn't returned any calls, despite my leaving five messages. That was why I was hoping she had at least reached out to you. Do you have any idea what happened?"

Henrik didn't want to outright blame John for her absence, so he shook his head a little as he looked down at the screen, willing Roxanna to reach out in that moment. "I have no idea. Can you cover for me today, while I go check on her?"

The words came out before he could stop them, and Abigail gave him a sad smile as she nodded. "It won't be quite as exciting as Darwin, but I suppose that I can cover Keller today, yes." She leaned into his personal space, stopping short of touching him as she looked up into his eyes. "I truly hope that everything is okay, Henrik. You're not the only one who's worried."

"Yes, well, we don't know that there is anything to worry about just yet, now do we?" He could hear the hesitation in his voice, clear as day, and from the way Abigail looked at him, he knew that she heard it as well. "I will make certain to call you as soon as I find her."

"All right, Henrik." She gave him another sad smile before pushing him towards the door. "I'm hoping that everything is okay."

"I am, too," he whispered as he made his way down the hall towards the lifts. Dominic rushed over to his side, giving him a concerned look, and Henrik shook his head a little as he pressed the down button. "I'm certain you'll be in good hands with Ms Tate today, Mister Copeland."

"That may be, but we have the better working rhythm. Where are you going?"

"To make certain that Ms MacMillan is all right. No one has heard from her today, and she missed an important surgery. I shouldn't be gone too long, try to stay on her good side."

Dominic nodded a little as he reached out and touched his upper arm. The doors slid open, but he still paused to look down at the younger man. "Do you want someone to come with you? Lofty can cover for me, if you do."

"I highly doubt that, Mister Copeland. And your absence would leave Ms Tate severely shorthanded."

"Then let Ben go with you." The fact that Dominic used his partner's real name told Henrik just how concerned he was for him. "Please, I'll feel better if you don't go alone. Everyone needs someone else when they're concerned."

Henrik released a slow breath as he tried to decide what he should do. It didn't help that the young man in question happened to appear at their sides, confusion and concern on his features. "Is everything all right?" he asked, looking between Henrik and Dominic.

He went to say that everything was fine, but Dominic shook his head a little, refusing to look at him as he spoke. "Mister Hanssen is going to check in on Ms MacMillan. I want you to go along with him, just in case something is terribly wrong. I would feel much better about things if one of us went with, and since I'm needed here, it has to be you. All right?"

Henrik frowned a little as Lofty nodded, stepping into the lift car and looking at him expectantly. Letting out a little sigh, he met Dominic's gaze, still seeing the concern there, mixed with a bit of defiance. "I do hope you're pleased."

"I will be when I know that you're both all right." Dominic leaned in so that only the two of them would catch his next words. "I know what it's like to be frantic with worry over the person that you love. Never be ashamed to have someone help you."

He did have a point, and Henrik dipped his chin a little in agreement before joining Lofty in the lift, looking at his phone as the doors closed and they made their way down. "Mister Hanssen, do you really think that something's wrong?"

"I do. Roxanna has normally responded to my texts by this time, and the fact that she hasn't even read the last text I sent her worries me. I don't really need someone along for the ride, though."

"I think we both know Dom would never let it go if I didn't come along, though. So, let's just humor him and do this together."

He nodded a little as they stepped out of the lift and he strode off towards the car park, not bothering to see if Lofty was keeping up with him. They both reached his car at the same time, however, and he sighed a little as he climbed behind the wheel, Lofty getting into the passenger seat as he started the vehicle. A tense silence fell between them as he drove to Roxanna's house, fighting the urge to pull his phone out and check to see if Roxanna had sent him anything. But he knew that he had to be careful as he drove, as it would not do to get into an accident on the way.

Roxanna's car was in the drive when he pulled in, and he felt himself relax a little at that, since that meant she was most likely home. A small smile curved his lips upwards as he parked and climbed out of the car, striding over to the front door and knocking firmly. Lofty joined his side a moment later, looking expectantly at the door as they waited for some answer. "Did she get called away for some reason?" the young man asked as Henrik's smile fell from his face.

Shaking his head a little, he rummaged around in his pocket for his keyring, flipping through the ones on it until he came to Roxanna's. "Wait here for me. We're both private people."

Lofty nodded, giving him a small smile as Henrik disappeared inside. The silence in the house bothered him, and he felt his brow furrow as he crept deeper inside, hoping beyond hope that she was just sleeping really hard, and so had missed all the calls. Foregoing the living room for the moment, Henrik went upstairs and peeked his head inside her bedroom. The sheets were undisturbed, and a heavy stone of fear formed in the pit of his stomach as he went to check the guest room, thinking that perhaps Roxanna's grief at losing David had caused her to change where she slept.

The small thread of hope snapped when there was no sign of her in that room, either, and he licked his lips nervously as he quickly checked the bathroom before heading downstairs and turning off the study. There was a good chance that she had fallen asleep over some text she was looking at, but again, it felt as if she hadn't been there in days. A rising sense of hysteria began to claw at the base of his brain, and Henrik tried to calm his reactions, knowing that his emotions would not do any good in the current situation. The living room was next, and that was where his hysteria almost held sway over his body, as it was evident that some sort of struggle had occurred there.

"Mister Chiltern," he called out loudly, knowing that he needed to touch base with the young man, to have another opinion on what the room looked like. He was joined in mere moments, and he indicated that Lofty should look around the room as Henrik looked for any evidence of Roxanna's mobile. Shaking his head a little, he pulled out his own phone and dialed her number, wondering if he would hear the familiar ringtone, but nothing answered him, and he sighed as he ended the call and shoved the phone back into his pocket before turning his frustrated gaze on Lofty.

"Something bad has happened, hasn't it?" he said softly as he pulled out his phone. "I'm going to call 999 and then Dom, to have him talk to Ms Tate. You don't look so good, Mister Hanssen."

It was true, he felt nauseous and dizzy, like he couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Roxanna had met with some foul fate. And a part of his brain was whispering ominously that John had been late that morning, too, that he had been acting shifty for ages when it came to Roxanna, that she had seemed in fear of the man, who had once been one of her closest friends. Trying to ignore that voice, he ran through the options that he had in front of him. Roxanna was missing, that much was certain, and he needed to find her, just in case she was wounded. But he didn't have any leads. "I need to find her."

Lofty gave him a commiserating smile as he nodded. "Her mobile isn't here. I'll tell them to search out her find my phone signal, that should be of some use…"

He continued on, but Henrik had tuned out of the conversation when he realized that he, too, had the option of finding her phone. Roxanna had seemed insistent that they share their locations with each other, as if she had thought something like this might occur at some point, and he was never more grateful for her paranoid practicality as in that moment. Nodding to Lofty, he slipped out of the house and hurried over to his car, getting behind the wheel once more as he tapped away at his screen, relief causing his shoulders to sag as he got a ping of where the phone was, at least.

Plugging that address into his GPS, Henrik took off for it, trying to keep the anxiety and terror at bay as he drove, soon finding himself out in the countryside. He pulled off onto a small two track road, unconsciously biting at his lip as his hands tightened around the steering wheel. The road soon gave out, and he shoved the car into park as he burst out of it, following the directions closer and closer to where her mobile was currently located.

Henrik caught sight of her blonde hair on the forest floor first, and a low gasp tore from his lips as he broke into a run, falling to his knees once he had reached her side. "Roxanna, can you hear me?" he asked, giving her body a quick look over. There was a small spot of blood near her stomach, and he drew in a deep breath as he pulled out his phone and hurriedly dialed the direct number for Holby Ambulance Service. Jan answered, and he realized that he would have to speak, to let her know what was going on. "Hello? Who is there? We don't take kindly to pranks here, you know."

He cleared his throat a little before drawing in a long breath. "This is Henrik Hanssen, and I have just found Ms MacMillan. She's bleeding from a wound on her stomach, but I haven't investigated further to discover where the source of the bleeding is. We're in a pretty remote location, but you should be able to ping it from this call, since that's how I found her."

"I'll send out Ruby and Ian as fast as I can," she replied, and he gave a sharp nod as he shrugged out of his suit jacket. "Mister Hanssen? Everything will be all right."

"You can't know that, but thank you for the platitude," he replied. "Just, get a rig here as soon as possible." Henrik hung up and stuffed the phone in his trouser pocket before folding his jacket and placing it beneath Roxanna's head, giving her something soft to rest on as he began to undo the buttons on her blouse, pulling aside the halves of it to take a critical look at her torso, trying to locate the source of the bleeding. The cold air caused her flesh to become covered in gooseflesh, and he sighed with regret as his fingers ran along her torso, searching out the wound.

A low groan caught his attention, and he looked up at her face, seeing the pain that was contorting her fair features. "Roxanna, can you hear me?" he asked, watching her start to move restlessly, blood starting to trickle from a long, thin, wound near her belly button. "Try not to move so much, sweetheart. I don't know how deep this wound is, and I don't want you to hurt yourself further."

"You called me sweetheart," she murmured, and he nodded as pressed one hand down on the wound, trying to staunch the blood flow a little before reaching up with his free hand and running his fingers through her hair. "Henrik?"

"I think you've been stabbed, Rox. Do you remember what happened?"

Another pained look flitted over her face as she tried to sit up. Fresh blood oozed between his fingers, and he moved his free hand to push her shoulder gently downwards, to keep her from disturbing the wound more. "I feel so cold, Henrik."

Those words worried him, and he pursed his lips as he watched her eyes flutter closed. Roxanna lifted her arm, curling her hand around his shoulder. The grip was weak, which concerned him, and he fought to keep control over his rapidly fraying emotions. "The ground here is damp and cold, darling. Just try to hold on a little longer, help is on the way."

"I didn't, I didn't think he was this angry, Henrik. We've been friends for so long, we grew into adults together, the four of us, and those bonds just seemed to break in a heartbeat. How could…"

Her voice trailed off as her grip slackened on his arm, falling to the ground with a dull thud. He hadn't expected her to pass out quite so quickly, and that told him that her internal injuries were a little more severe than he had anticipated. Turning off his emotions as best he could, Henrik awkwardly loosened his tie, pulling it off his neck and rolling it up with one hand before lifting the one covering her wound and using the silk to soak up the blood as he waited for the paramedics to arrive. It seemed like it took an extremely long time, but he finally heard the welcome sound of sirens on the wind, his shoulders slumping as he looked down into her face. "Help has arrived, my darling, and soon you'll be at hospital. I won't be able to operate on you, but I know that Serena will take good care of you. I think she knows how much I care for you, Roxanna."

He lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to her palm as he heard the sound of running footsteps. Turning his head towards them, he nodded in relief to see Ian, giving a small smile to the unfamiliar blonde, remembering that Jan had called her Ruby. "What do we have, Mister Hanssen?" Ian asked as he pressed his hand over Henrik's, pressing down on Roxanna's wound, allowing him to take over for him. Ruby gave him a concerned look, and he shook his head a little before focusing on Ian once more.

"Ms MacMillan was stabbed at some point late last night or early this morning. I don't know how extensive the internal damage is, but I know that I want to bypass the ER and redline her directly to AAU, with Ms Campbell operating."

"The ER does have the new trauma centre, sir," Ruby said, and he narrowed his eyes at her, seeing her blanch at the expression. "I was just thinking that Mrs Beauchamp could probably start any procedure, and she's one of…"

"I trust Ms Campbell," he replied shortly, accepting the towel from her hands, wiping his hand free of Roxanna's blood as best he could before fishing out his mobile and directly dialing Serena's number. She answered on the first ring, and a tiny smile crossed his lips as he began to speak. "Serena, this is Henrik. I've found Roxanna, and the paramedics want to bring her into the new trauma wing. Meet Connie there, I want you to lead the surgery, and you have to tell her that. In no uncertain terms, you are the clinical lead on this surgery."

"Henrik, is she all right?"

"I don't know, but I trust you to take care of her."

"Of course, we'll make certain that she returns to you, Henrik. Just get her here."

"Yes." He hung up and shoved the phone back into his pocket before looking at Ian. "Change of plans. You're taking her to the trauma unit in the ER, and Ms Campbell will be leading the surgery from there."

Ian nodded as he and Ruby loaded Roxanna onto a backboard. Henrik watched them troop through the woods as he picked up his jacket and followed after them. He knew that he couldn't ride in the bus with them, so he swallowed thickly as Ruby got behind the wheel and backed out onto the road, taking off towards the hospital.

It only took him a few moments to get into his car, and Henrik followed after them, feeling like his heart was on that ambulance. He arrived fifteen minutes after the paramedics, and Abigail met him at the entrance to the ER. "You certainly ruffled Connie's feathers by asking for Serena to lead things in there."

"I wanted the best. Serena has worked in a trauma unit before, she knows how to work under pressure, and I trust her the most. She is my hands in there."

"That's what I figured, which is what I said when I was smoothing things over. Now come along, I'll take you to her."

He nodded and allowed the woman to rest her hand in the crook of his arm and take him into the observation room of the trauma center. As he looked down at the team working to save Roxanna's life, the first tears began to run silently down his face. "If I could make a deal with your God, darling, I'd get him to swap our places," he murmured as he pressed his hand against the glass.

Serena seemed to pick up on the fact that he was there, as she glanced up at him, her eyebrows quirking in such a way that let him know while they weren't out of the woods just yet, things might be all right in the end. His shoulders slumped in relief as he looked over at Abigail. "What is it?" she asked softly.

"Did Mister Chiltern make it back to Holby?"

"Yes, he caught a ride with one of the officers who came to question Professor Gaskell."

He nodded before turning his attention back to what was happening in theatre. "Good. Tell him I'm sorry for having left him at Roxanna's, but I needed to get to her side."

"I'll make certain that he knows that. If you're fine here on your own, I'll head back down onto Keller, Dom and I have a number of patients to take care of." She smiled at him before patting his shoulder softly. "I'll have Mister Chiltern bring you lunch once Roxanna is in recovery. Somehow, I have the feeling that you are not going to be leaving her side until she wakes."

He dipped his head slightly before refocusing on the procedure. Connie's hands were busy sewing together some wound in Roxanna's torso. While he knew that the woman was a wonderful cardiac surgeon, he didn't trust her quite as much as he did Serena, so he frowned a little as he clasped his hands tightly, fighting the urge to call down there and find out why she wasn't sewing that up. And then, Serena was coming over to Connie's side, taking over for her as the other surgeon started in on another spot.

The rest of the surgery seemed to take eons, and he found himself growing ever more on edge as he awaited some indication that things were going well, that Roxanna wasn't on the verge of dying. It wasn't until Serena looked up at him, the expression of relief on her face clear even though it was half hidden by her surgical mask, that he felt a little of the tension in the pit of his stomach ease. He gave her a small nod, watching as she turned back to Roxanna's side and started to stitch up the wicked looking gash on her torso. They were so close to the finish line now, and he only hoped that she would be in recovery soon.

"Serena told me that it would be better if I came to take you to the recovery room, so that she could finish up with Roxanna." He faced Connie, his head tilting to one side as he regarded her. "The surgery went very well, and it looks like Ms MacMillan will make a full physical recovery. It will be up to her if she wakes up or not."

Trust her to never mince words, even at a time like this, and Henrik gave the woman a small nod. "Well, take me to her, then." He could tell that Connie was fighting to keep from rolling her eyes, and he just arched an eyebrow at her as they started walking. It didn't surprise him that they headed up the lifts to Keller Ward, and he relaxed even more as they went to one of the secluded recovery rooms. Pausing outside the door, he turned to look at Connie. "Thank you, for agreeing to work with Serena. I know that it was a blow to your pride, but…"

"You care for her. I get it. I just never thought that you would be one who fell sway to twitterpation."

"The heart is a mysterious thing, few can understand the vagaries of it. But sometimes, one has to follow where it leads to find the utmost joy. Even if it doesn't last for long."

"Keep the faith, Henrik. She's not dead yet." Connie gave him a withering look as she turned on her heel and stalked off, her heels clicking on the tile as she went back to her own ward. He smirked a little to himself as he opened the door to Roxanna's room and slipped inside, his eyes focused only on her as he approached the bed and took a seat in the chair near her head.

"It didn't take you long to get here," Serena remarked as she came to his side, resting her hand on his shoulder. "The surgery went very well, as I'm certain Connie told you. The anesthesia should wear off in an hour or so, but when she wakes up is dependent upon her. Talk to her, Henrik. Draw her back to the land of the living."

He nodded a little as he reached out and took hold of Roxanna's hand. "Thank you for saving her, Serena."

"I rather think that you did that, by finding her in the woods. But if you want my advice, when she does wake up, tell her that you love her. You need to clear the air between you, and the only way to do that is complete honesty." She squeezed his shoulder softly. "I am wishing the best for you both, and I fully expect to be mistress of ceremonies one day."

He chuckled a little at the bold declaration, knowing that there would be hell to pay if he didn't do exactly as she had asked. The door closed with a quiet click, and he let out a sigh as he looked down into Roxanna's pale face. "I feel like I'm running up a hill that has no end, darling, watching you, first on the operating table, and now here. I still would trade our places, still be the one lying there, if only to ensure that you were safe. You've always meant more to me, darling."

Henrik's blunt thumb swiped back and forth across the back of her hand as he watched her carefully for any sign that she was waking up. He knew that it was too soon for her to be slipping the bonds of medicated sleep, but he still hoped. Settling back in his chair, Henrik threaded their fingers together as he kept his eyes on her. Time passed slowly, as it always did when one was waiting for something to happen, and the next thing he knew, Lofty was bringing him lunch, a sheepish smile on his lips. "Dom told me what you were most likely to eat. I'm so glad that you found her in time, Mister Hanssen."

"I am, too," he replied as he took the bag from the younger man's hands. "Do you have time to stay with us for a while?"

"Oh, you'd want it to be Dom, not me. You've known him longer."

"You're the one who is here."

Lofty's smile widened a little as he shrugged, pulling up another chair and taking a seat next to him. "Love comes softly, doesn't it?" he asked as he focused his gaze on Roxanna. "I don't think either of us intended to fall this deeply this quickly. Or maybe I'm wrong?"

"You are not wrong, Lofty. She might not love me the way I love her, though," he replied lowly as he started to eat the food Dom had chosen for him. He hadn't realized that the younger doctor knew him quite so well until he tucked into the lunch, finding all of his usual comfort foods there. "She lost David only six months ago, and here I am, trying to make her see me in that same light."

"I don't think it's quite like that, sir. There isn't really a time limit on grief, and falling in love, and all that. And from the looks you both give each other when you think the other one isn't looking, I would guess that she might feel the same for you, she just can't tell you that yet."

Henrik nodded a little as he ate. "That is sage advice, thank you. But I think I'd rather hear how things are between you and Dom, if you don't mind. It would be nice to have something that will take my thoughts off worrying about when Roxanna will wake up."

Lofty nodded, and Henrik settled back in his chair as he listened to the halting words that fell from the nurse's mouth. There was something comforting about the inanity of everyday matters, since it allowed him to just be in the moment. The stream of words lasted the entire time he ate, and then Lofty was taking the trash from his hands and giving him a warm smile. "I'll just leave you now. And I'll make certain Dom stops in and sees you before we head home tonight. Don't worry, we'll take care of you both."

The tender fierceness in Lofty's voice warmed his heart, and he nodded once more, listening to him leave the room. Brushing his hands off on his pants, Henrik leaned forward once more, clasping Roxanna's hand tightly as he started to hum lightly under his breath. It didn't take long to become lost in song, and an old Swedish hymn began to pour from his lips, something he thought he had forgotten over the years, as his mother's religion had faded from his influence.

"Really, Henrik, you're singing me the Swedish morning hymn?"

The groggy, rusty, sound of Roxanna's voice made him smile ecstatically, and he lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to her palm before combing the fingers of his free hand through her hair, relishing the silky feel of it against his skin. "It seemed appropriate, since you still have faith, Roxanna. I'm sorry I didn't stop this from happening."

"How could you have known that our friend was so close to the edge of losing it? He seemed calm, collected, together. I was going off the rails in my desperation to get you to see what I saw." She paused to take a breath, her eyes fluttering closed once more as she tried to swallow. "I need something to drink."

"Of course." Henrik kissed her hand once more before letting go of it and popping to his feet. "I will be right back."

"I know you will, darling."

A small thrill ran through his body at her endearment, and he hurried out to the nurses' station, seeing that Ms Jackson was seated there, going through some files. "Ah, Donna, I need a pitcher of water for Ms MacMillan's room. She's awake, and thirsty."

A look of joy spread across her features as she jumped to her feet, hugging him quickly before nodding excitedly. "Ms Campbell didn't think she'd be awake this soon! What amazing news! I will be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail, Mister Hanssen. And can I get you anything?"

"I'm fine, thank you." She nodded again before scurrying off, leaving him alone for a moment. Chuckling a little, Henrik turned on his heel and went back to Roxanna's room, making his way over to his chair, only for Roxanna to shake her head a little. "What do you want?"

"Will you sit on the bed next to me?"

He didn't think that he could refuse that query, and he nodded as he gently lowered himself to the thin mattress, a small, pleased, gasp escaping her lips when she closed her hand around his knee before blinking her eyes open. "Are you hurting at all?"

Roxanna shook her head carefully, groaning a little at the movement. "All right, maybe I am."

He reached for her hand, threading their fingers together once more as the door opened, revealing a grinning Ms Jackson. "I'll just leave the water and these cups on the table here and then be out of your hair. I'm assuming you two don't wish to be disturbed?"

"The police will have questions, I'm certain," he started to say, only for Donna to shake her head. "Why?"

"Professor Gaskell went willingly with them to the station. I don't know when they'll be by to ask questions, if ever, but for the moment, things are quiet. And I'm certain that Ms Campbell will keep everyone at bay until she feels that Ms MacMillan is ready for visitors besides you. And really, after everything that this hospital has been through, I am so glad that we have a win today." Ms Jackson set the pitcher down with a loud thud, and he watched the water slosh a little as the woman turned on her heel and scurried from the room, closing the door with another thud.

He heard Roxanna chuckle a little before a small moan slipped out of her mouth. "Laughing was a bad idea. How long was I in surgery?"

"A few hours. I didn't really pay attention to the time, I was just focused on watching Serena and Connie work on you."

"Your back must be killing you, then. I'll be fine, Henrik, if you want to go home."

He could tell that she was putting on a brave face for him, so he gently cupped her face with his hand and ran his thumb along her cheekbone, hoping that she wouldn't be offended by the touches. To his pleasure, she turned into his hand, a gentle smile on her lips. "I don't think that I could leave your side right now, Roxanna."

"I liked it when you called me darling." Their eyes met, and he gave her a tiny smile as he nodded. "I've been so scared for so long, Henrik, darling. I threw myself into work after losing David, and I think a part of me was lost, too. But you were always there, supporting me. Caring for me. I knew, in the back of my head, that it was more than friendship love, but I didn't want to think about that. I wanted to just focus on having you as my friend."

He nodded as he rose to his feet, pouring them each a glass of water before going back to her side. "I pushed too fast, I should have known that you were, are, still grieving for David."

Roxanna took a glass from his hand, sipping at the water as she shrugged. "There are things that you can't help, Henrik, and falling in love is one of them. Because sometimes, when a person isn't looking, philia can pass into eros, even when we're not even certain we're ready for that." She looked at him above the lip of her glass, and the love that was shining from her eyes humbled him a little as he, too, drank from his glass. "I want to explore where things go from here, when I'm better, Henrik."

"I do, too," he whispered, and the smile she gave him was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. "And we are blessed to be allowed the opportunity to explore where this might lead."

"A hymn and a blessing from Henrik Hanssen. Will the world stop turning?" she teased as she carefully scooted over on the bed before patting the space she had made. "If it won't bother you too much, I would really welcome having you stretched out beside me. Because I'm feeling decidedly off kilter right now, and I'd rather bury my face in the crook of your neck and cry, then have you watch me cry."

Henrik caught the faint trembling of her lips and realized that she was very close to breaking down. Taking another sip of water, he placed the glass on the table before sinking down next to her on the mattress, resting his back against the headboard as he stretched his long legs out. "I wouldn't be upset if you did cry in front of me, Roxanna. You've been through so much today, and recently."

"Yes, well, I want to hide, Henrik."

Her voice broke on his name, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her close to his chest as she started to sob. Roxanna buried her face into his shoulder, her tears quickly wetting his shirt through to his skin. He was unable to keep from comforting her, his hand running up and down her arm as her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt. Once more, he started to sing beneath his breath, one of the songs that he knew to be Roxanna's favorites, and she sighed a little through her tears. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep once more, and Henrik tightened his hold around her shoulders before pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

"How are we doing in here?"  
He looked over at the door to see Serena and Dom standing there. The younger man had a knowing smirk on his lips, to which he just raised an eyebrow, watching the smirk turn into a full smile. "Roxanna has fallen asleep again, which is the best thing for her right now. I have been in more comfortable positions, but I do not believe that I would move from this spot even if paid the proverbial million dollars."

"That's good to hear," Dom said as he traipsed over to them, taking a seat in the chair Henrik had so recently vacated. "If you don't think it will bother her sleep, I could spend some time with you? Lofty still has an hour before his shift is over, and I promised him that we'd go out looking for wedding ideas tonight, so I have some free time."

"As long as you're quiet, I won't begrudge you being here with us," he replied, looking over Dom's shoulder at Serena. "You might as well stay, too, Serena. Unless you plan on Skyping with Bernie this evening?"

"Actually, I think I can spare the time to be with you, Henrik. I might even have brought along a nice bottle of Shiraz to share." She winked at him as she sashayed over to their sides, taking the other seat and thrusting the glasses into Dom's hands as she started to pull the cork out of the bottle. "We're all off the clock here, and it's a wee bit medicinal this afternoon, don't you think?"

He dipped his head a little as she began to pour the wine into the glasses. Henrik accepted the glass Dom held out, sipping at the wine as he settled back a little on the bed, relaxing as he listened to the others chatter a little. "Who will be covering the night shift?" he asked before taking another drink of wine.

"Xav Duvall. I've already filled him in on what's happened, and he will try to keep the interruptions to a minimum, though there will be the standard obs done. Unfortunately, you cannot perform those, since you're too close to Roxanna. I can arrange to have another bed brought in here, you know."

"She wants me close, and who I am to deny her that?" he asked as he glanced down at the sleeping woman. She frowned a little as she shifted her position a little, her arm coming up to snake around his torso, her perfectly formed hand spreading out over his heart.

"So, I feel like we're all going to get cavities around here," Dom interjected, and Serena giggled a little as she nodded.

"Love is never sickly sweet, Mister Copeland. Is that what you think you have with Mister Chiltern?"

Dom blushed a little as he shook his head. "I suppose you have a point there. But you two are rather cute together. We could even come up with a cutesy name for you, like all the cool kids are doing these days." Henrik fixed his eyes on Dom, watching him shake his head a little in response. "Or not, not everyone needs a nickname."

"That's what I thought," he replied drolly as he finished his glass of wine and then held the cup out. Serena took hold of it, setting it on the floor beside her. "How is Bernie enjoying Kenya? I'd imagine that she's still getting used to some of the quirks of a different country."

"There is that. I miss her immensely, of course, but seeing those that I care for falling in love reminds me of the bond that we share. She's going to be so pleased that you finally found someone, though I will take great pleasure in telling her that she was a little misguided when it came to who you would fall in love with."

He decided to not question her further, since he didn't really want to know who he was supposed to have fallen for, now that he had Roxanna in his life. "We all make a few mistakes along the way," he murmured as he absently ran his hand up and down her arm. "Though those mistakes make us who we are, in the end."

Serena nodded as she finished off her wine and got to her feet. "Well, I'm off. Don't you talk too late, Dom. Henrik will need to get some rest as well." She leaned over and patted his leg softly before leaving the room, and Henrik couldn't help but smile a little. He really had found a good friend in her.

"Serena worries too much, I won't tire you out. And if you do happen to fall asleep, I'll make certain to turn the lights off, so that you don't have to worry about that." Dom leaned forward, looking at Roxanna's still form before glancing up at him. "How long have you known each other? You are way too comfortable for this to be new."

He shook his head a little as his hand stilled. "We were in college together in America, and we were going to change the world. We were the Four Musketeers, united and indivisible. We all went our separate ways, because that's life, but we were all still friends. That's what makes this a little harder to grasp. John's perfidy is more than just megalomania. It's a betrayal of our deepest bonds of friendship."

"Oh." That small word was filled with a regret that spoke of experience, and he nodded a little in response. "That's the cut that hurts the deepest, when we're betrayed by someone we trusted so deeply. I mean, none of my friends have stabbed the man I loved, but I understand all too well." Dom cleared his throat and pulled a leg up close to his chest as he looked down at the floor. "So, when are you going to make things official?"

"When Roxanna is ready. There are layers of grief that will need to be dealt with, and whilst I will support her as she recovers, whilst I will love her steadfastly, everything has to be on her timetable. I've waited many years for an opportunity to love her, I think that I can wait longer still to be a larger part of her life."

Dom's smile widened a little as he nodded, scooting his chair away from them before he stood up. "I'm claiming my role in your wedding already. While Sacha might want to be your best man, tell him that that has been filled already. After everything you've helped me with over the years, it would be my honor to do that for you."

"I'll keep that in mind, Dom. Though I don't know if we will get married." He looked down at Roxanna, a soft expression spreading across his face. "We've both had our marriages, and while there was some happiness in mine, she had such joy in hers that I wouldn't ask her to have a second go at that."

"See? What did I tell you about those cavities?" he joked as he went over to the door. "Though you deserve this happiness, sir. After everything you both have been through, the universe has given you something infinitely good."

Henrik pursed his lips together as he nodded, watching Dom leave the room before turning his focus back on Roxanna. "You have really sweet friends," she murmured, and he chuckled gently as he helped her change her position, trying to make her more comfortable.

"How long were you awake?" he asked before pressing another kiss to the top of her head. Now that he had started being affectionate with her, it seemed like he couldn't turn it off.

A satisfied sigh slipped from her lips as she tightened her hand on his chest. "Somewhere around the point where Mister Copeland was talking about our couple name."

"That long?"

"I wanted to hear how you would answer, and then never fell back to sleep. I am exhausted, Henrik, but I'm so keyed up." She maneuvered her head to press her lips against his shoulder before nuzzling her cheek against him. "And you are so very gallant, darling."

"Your happiness is the only thing that matters to me."

Another sigh slipped from her lips as she tugged on the fabric of his shirt. "And your happiness is important to me, as well. Slip down a little, Henrik. You have to be uncomfortable like that."

"This is fine, Rox, darling." She shook her head a little, and he squeezed her upper arm a little. "Besides, I'll probably head up to the on-call room once you really fall asleep and catch a few hours on the bed there. All right?"

"I suppose that I can live with that, Henrik. Would you sing to me again? I haven't heard your voice in years, and I'd forgotten how much I missed it."

"Of course," he replied as she shifted in his arms once more, never fully turning over, but still becoming a little more comfortable against him. "Do you have any requests?"

"Something Swedish. I love hearing your mother tongue drop from your lips," she quickly replied, as if she thought he would deny her request.

"All right," he replied softly, thinking of the perfect song to sing for her. It finally came to mind, and he could feel her entire body smile as the words poured from him lips, obviously recognizing the tune, grateful for his choice. As he continued to sing, he lifted his eyes upwards, sending a grateful thank you to the universe that had heard his desperation to keep his Roxanna on this earth and allowed him this spot of heaven in the hell that had surrounded his life for too long.


End file.
